Understanding the need for healthy boundaries helps to establish our separateness from others. And in this awareness that “I am separate from you”, I have a boundary. Having a boundary allows a choice. This produces healthy relationships. Boundaries help you be conscious of what you need, what works for you and what clearly doesn’t. We all have basic human needs for love, connection, touch, to feel supported, and so on, as well as knowing ourselves as separate individuals. If we are not connected to what we do need, we are unable to ask for it or know when we are not getting our needs met. This denial or blindness creates expectations that are not voiced, so they are not able to be addressed in a relationship.